A little hostile, but funny stuff.

A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy these!

- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
- The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
- Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- You're never too old to learn something really stupid.

Check out the Professional Hair Drier in the Background!

A friend wrote this article:

Go Where the People Are

The Spotlight English Club in Kernersville (NC) is growing…but only after sponsors decided to move the meeting place to where the people are!

In January 2011 the North Carolina group launched the Spotlight English Club for immigrants who want to improve their English. They began holding the club meetings at their church, but only one, two or three people came. Marco Segovia, one of the Spotlight English Club coordinators, said, “We had approximately 16 team leaders and volunteers. We realized that this program would be steered by God and we were prepared to take this journey no matter what it took!

The journey took the club to a hair salon owned by a Hispanic businesswoman. “We realized the church location was not meeting the needs of the people in the community,” explains Dinene Crater, another North Carolina Spotlight Club leader.

“We asked what we could do differently and what we should be focusing on when spreading the word that we were offering this service,” adds Marco. “Our volunteers and core leadership team did not give up hope that people would soon come.”

Marco kept talking about the club with several people in the community, encouraging them to come to the Spotlight English Club, but realized that timing and location was holding them back. He also met with a local Hispanic businesswoman who offered hold the club at her salon, Peluqueria Y Estetica II. “I knew God had truly provided and guided us to our new location,” he testifies.

The participation and response was amazing! The club now averages between 15-20 students at each meeting. They began offering the club once a week instead of monthly. The leaders decided to incorporate tutoring and educational activities for children, and currently have 12-16 children attend each week.

“We are using our faith and love to help these children in school and grow a bigger support network for them in the community,” says Marco. “Our students love the Spotlight programming. They find it easy to understand and are learning English in a non-traditional fun way.”

Marco adds, “Our team leaders have found the lessons and worksheets extremely helpful. I keep telling volunteers, ‘You do not need to be a teacher to help with this program. It is so easy to follow you just need to speak English!!’ Our Spotlight Club nights have given both the student and team leaders an opportunity to bond. Both are learning a lot from one another about culture, language and God's grace. It is wonderful. God's love and guidance has been amazing!”

Marco and Dinene also appreciate the support the group receives from their sponsor, the Fountain of Life Lutheran Church and their local community. He says, “I cannot begin to express how grateful we are to Spotlight for providing us material to teach from. We are excited and look forward to continue being God's instrument in assisting our neighbors learning English, the American culture, and God's Love.”

Thank you to those of you who support the Spotlight English Club ministry. Your giving helps many to learn, not just English, but also the amazing love of God. And if you are interested in starting a Spotlight English Club in your church or community, contact Janine at info@spotlightenglishclubs.com

What an Outing!

I'd been in Thailand for two years and not stuck a toe in the ocean.
My friend, Jane, planned a Saturday outing and it included sitting on this beach!!!




















Jane is the blond and the outing included Shirley, another of her friends and now one of mine. It was great to get to spend time with them both AND it included this incredible restaurant!




















The table top was glass. The dinning room was built out over the ocean. As we sat down our legs under the table dangled over the water.

FYI, these Asian fish love rice!





















This was the view from our table. Now you are probably thinking, how could a missionary afford such a restaurant? Well get a load of this, the meal I ordered was $7 U.S. and then Jane treated on top of all that!! What a blessing! A day enjoying God's great creation and great fellowship.